Cultivating Hope and Positivity Through Chronic Illness
- heatherkaystanfield
- Dec 12, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 15, 2025
When dealing with undiagnosed chronic mental or physical illness, waiting for answers can lead to feeling like a ghost in purgatory. After months or years of appointments, tests, procedures, and treatments - eventually we may find some relief from the unknown. But what happens when the answers lead to more questions, and there is no cure? Suddenly we’re left to fight a battle we didn’t sign up for, and wondering how we can possibly be expected to “fix” ourselves.
Many chronic mental and physical illnesses have no cure. This means there isn’t a “one size fits all” treatment that can make the symptoms go away. Oftentimes, it is only through a combination of medication and lifestyle changes that we may encourage a semblance of recovery, or remission. This in itself presents a new set of challenges.
When Lifestyle Changes Don’t Cure Chronic Illness
Chronic mental and physical illnesses are often comorbid. This can be due to the mind-body connection, the impact trauma has on the body, or biological and environmental factors. Lifestyle changes are a proactive step toward a happier and healthier version of ourselves, but it is not always enough on its own.
It’s difficult to cope with chronic physical illness, and it’s even harder when we struggle with pre-existing mental health issues. Chronic illness can exacerbate feelings of anxiety, stress, and depression. Feeling physically and mentally unwell for a long period of time can lead to feelings of hopelessness and demotivation.
Living with chronic illness greatly increases the risk of suicide and self-harm - and this doesn’t include an already increased risk when dealing with pre-existing mental health conditions. This risk is heightened because chronic illness (whether mental, physical, or both) reduces our quality of life and increases emotional, financial, and social stressors.
Chronic pain or depression can make it incredibly difficult to create meaningful lifestyle changes and maintain healthy behaviors long-term. This is not a character fault of the person experiencing chronic illness, but rather a symptom that also needs management and compassion.
The Abelism of Toxic Positivity
Unfortunately, many people who suffer from chronic mental or physical illness do not seek additional help. They may view it as a personal failure or succumb to social and societal shame. Toxic positivity is a pioneer of shame in chronic illness, demanding that lifestyle change and a positive mindset must be enough to get better.
The problem with toxic positivity is that it is rooted in an ableist mindset. Everyone experiences life and its struggles differently - we all have different limitations, upbringings, and responses to the events that shape us. Toxic positivity presses the idea that everyone can overpower their mind and body with pure willpower. This does not address or include major disability, trauma, or inescapable harmful environments.
Some people with chronic illness are able to overcome incredible limitations with lifestyle and mindset changes. Some need additional help. Both are okay - because living with chronic illness is different for everyone who experiences it. Perpetuating toxic positivity and an ableist mindset wears the mask of support and motivation, but at its core ultimately alienates others and fragments the community it intends to support.
Comparison Is the Thief of Reality
While it is absolutely acceptable and encouraged to cultivate positivity and gratefulness amidst chronic illness, it is important to recognize and support those who do not share the same views and experiences. Getting diagnosed with a chronic illness can be a life-altering event, and many experience a period of grief that may persist for years at a time.
Since chronic illness varies in intensity, everyone experiences and responds to the effects differently. It is unfair and naive to compare one person’s experience to another. This includes comparing our own lived experience to someone else’s. Comparison is not only a thief of joy, but can also be a thief of reality. Self-doubt and expectation may lead us to feelings of shame or low self-worth. A once self-proclaimed “strong” and “resilient” individual may not feel so strong and resilient after comparing themselves to someone who has experienced events they perceive to be “worse”. This is far from the truth and only aggravates the negative emotional effects of chronic illness.
Moreover, we are limited to our own perception. We may see a person with chronic illness that is motivational, independent, and strong - but we do not see the whole picture. They may not display what goes on behind the scenes, or how much they have struggled. They may downplay negative emotions or mask their physical pain for the sake of others or an attempt to portray self-sufficiency. There is no definitive way to know exactly how much another person is suffering.
Cultivating Positivity with Chronic Illness
All that being said, it is important to identify the things in our control when struggling with chronic illness. There is a point to be made that lifestyle and mindset changes can improve quality of life with chronic illness - even if it isn’t a catch-all cure, and it is incredibly difficult to attain. Working with a licensed mental health professional alongside medical professionals can provide a supportive environment in which we can learn to improve the quality of our lives with respect to our individual limitations.
Being positive all the time can be just as unhealthy as being negative all the time. Tiny lifestyle changes can be just as impactful as major ones. Thinking of mental and physical health in black-and-white terms of “positive” and “negative”, “healthy” and “unhealthy”, is unhelpful and creates further, self-imposed limitations.
Meeting Ourselves Where We’re At
When evaluating our individual circumstances and limitations, it is important to be empathetic and patient. Accepting where we are currently in terms of mental and physical limitations and future goals creates a uniquely compassionate environment for growth.
Living with chronic physical and mental illness can be incredibly exhausting. It means waking up everyday to fight our mind and body over and over, even when it may seem pointless. When difficult events pile onto themselves, it’s easy to feel like resolution is too far gone. Cultivating hope and motivation under circumstances that feel hopeless can be challenging and feel like an uphill battle. However, the desire to find hope and motivation is evidence that it already exists with us.
In a journey for wellness and remission, there is no “game over” or ultimate loss that can take away our ability to want better for ourselves. Even in death, we search for meaning and hope for relief. When we invest in our lives and give ourselves the opportunity to improve our mental and physical health, every single effort counts, no matter how small.
Sometimes, we experience roadblocks or feelings of loss. Sometimes, we manage to conquer things we previously thought we couldn’t. And sometimes - we just need to exist for a while without fighting so hard. This gives ourselves compassion and space to grow at our own pace, rather than giving up. It is important to recognize where we are on our own journey, and allow for rest and re-evaluation as needed. Then, when we are ready, we can restart and try to find balance once again.
PDFs and Workbooks:
WRAP Plan for Mental Health and Wellness: Wellness Recovery Action Plan
LAMP-CBT Workbook for Chronic Pain:
Worksheets for Managing Chronic Illness: Free Worksheets and Resources - Bearable
Article Resources:
Disclaimer: All content reflects the author’s opinions and personal experiences. The author is not a medical or mental health professional. Nothing shared is intended to replace or negate advice from licensed professionals.